Shedding Shame: Returning to Wholeness in a Culture That Taught You to Hide

powerthrouple33
Apr 18
3 min read

Shame is a master of disguise.

It wears the voice of your childhood pastor.The eyes of your disapproving parent.The silence of a friend who pulled away when you changed.It echoes through old beliefs that told you: this part of you is too much. That part is not enough.

Shame is sticky.It clings to our bodies, our desires, our identities, our mistakes.It whispers: If they really knew you, they’d leave. You’re not lovable unless you fix it, hide it, prove you’re worthy.

But here’s the sacred truth:

You were never meant to carry shame.You were meant to carry truth.You were meant to carry love.You were meant to carry the wild, radiant wholeness of your full humanity.

🌑 What Shame Does

Shame tells you to shrink.To edit.To hide the parts of yourself that don’t match the script you were handed.

It says:

Your body is wrong
Your sexuality is dangerous
Your needs are a burden
Your anger is unspiritual
Your desires are shameful

Shame teaches you that love must be earned. That you must perform worthiness. That any deviation from the rules makes you unclean, untrustworthy, unlovable.

But the truth is: shame is not a soul trait. It’s a learned wound.

And anything that is learned can be unlearned.

🔥 Where Shame Meets the Sacred

Let’s reframe:Shame is not a signal of your brokenness.It’s a signal that a lie has taken root in sacred soil.

You feel it not because you are unworthy — but because some part of you is aching to be reclaimed.

That wild, sensual, powerful, intuitive, messy, holy part of you is saying: I want to come home. I’m done hiding.

Healing shame is not about being fearless. It’s about being willing.Willing to tell the truth. To touch the wound. To choose softness instead of judgment.

This is sacred work. And you are allowed to do it at your own pace.

🌿 Reclaiming What Shame Took

When we begin shedding shame, we start reclaiming:

Our voice
Our sexuality
Our autonomy
Our spiritual authority
Our right to experience pleasure, connection, and joy without guilt

We stop asking for permission to exist.We stop apologizing for our wholeness.We begin to live not as people trying to earn love, but as people already made of it.

And that shift? It’s everything.

🧘 Practices for Meeting Shame with Compassion

Name it gently. When shame arises, notice it without judgment. Say, “This is shame. It’s showing up because I’m human, not because I’m bad.”
Breathe into the body. Shame often lives in the chest, gut, or throat. Place your hands there. Breathe. Send softness into the tightness.
Speak the truth out loud. In a safe space, practice saying the thing shame told you to hide. Truth, spoken with love, dissolves shame’s power.
Practice radical acceptance. Your desires, your past, your story — all of it belongs. Nothing disqualifies you from love.

This is not about fixing yourself.It’s about remembering: you were never broken.

🌀 You’re Not Alone in This

So many of us — especially those who grew up in religious systems or under the gaze of perfectionism — are doing the slow, brave work of de-shaming our lives.

You’re not the only one who was told their body was a temptation.You’re not the only one who learned to silence their truth to stay safe.You’re not the only one untangling love from fear.

And you don’t have to do it alone.